Kanon 09December 2, 2006
Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most.
It makes me very sad to see Makoto slowly decreasing in mind and body. At the same time she seems to be much more happy this way than before, partly because Yuuichi is now very friendly toward her, partly because she just doesn’t need much to be pleased anymore.
But is she still the “real” Makoto? How much of her personality is left within this decreasing mind? At what point is she really gone and all that is left is just a mere shell of her former self reacting purely on instinct, baby- or animallike?
This led to me to think about how these things are handled in real life, where no real answer can be found either. It was very interesting for me to realize that while thinking about if it would have been better for Makoto to “die” while of sound mind contra her situation now displayed I was making thoughts about problems which are very much discussed in real life. Of course it was not really the same, I was after all partly thinking about my viewing enjoyment, what I’ve like to see most. In real life these questions should only consider what is best for the person in question. Many animes have touched me emotional, but only few gave me thoughts so closely connected to the real life. Makoto’s arc in the original Kanon series wasn’t nearly as touching for me because it happened all very quick that time (as far as I remember). This time the whole decreasing of Makoto is shown in length which gave me lots of time and impressions to think about it. One could say that the important parts of this arc can be told in a half, maybe a full episode, but to catch the emotional deep of it, it (at least) takes the time which is now assigned to it.
I’ve seen Makoto’s situation compared to Misuzu’s in Air. I don’t think that they really fit, because while both are decreasing in their body, Misuzu stays clear in mind and is fully aware of what is happening to her. Makoto on the opposite doesn’t know and doesn’t realize what happens to her, she is even stopped by Yuuichi at the time she begins to realize it.
I think a much better comparison is Yukari Hirai from Shakugan no Shana. Don’t remember who she is? Maybe this helps. Still no clue? Well, it’s not very surprising given the fact that she became a torch in the first episode and disappeared shortly after to be not remembered by anyone. Yukari was like Makoto slowly decreasing before her disappearance (while not being happy like Makoto is), not aware of what is happening to her and without bothering about it (she was a torch after all). Yuuji tried to fight her destiny by spending as much time as possible with her and trying to make her wishes come true. In the end he was not successful, but at least she smiled one last time, giving her back some of her humanity. I think Yuuichi will face the same lack of success, but he will do everything he can to prevent it.
Another sad aspect of the story is Mishio (well, they are all sad girls in the snow after all).
She already lived through the things Yuuichi is now and can’t do anything to help him, just feel the same pain again and telling him about the inevitable end. It’s sad to see that what happened to her made her very reclusive and lonely. She seems to have no friends nor anything she clings to in life beside her memories. Very painful might it for her if Yuuichi really makes a miracle come true and saves Makoto. That way she could realize that she wasn’t strong enough or didn’t tried hard enough at the time her friend decreased and finally faded away. This would be very hard for her.
In next episode again some more of Makoto. Maybe this will be the final one. It’s named “requiem”.